


with my legs up on the dashboard

by Sway



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Anal Plug, Anal Sex, Bottom Merlin (Kingsman), Butt Plugs, Established Relationship, M/M, Office Sex, Oral Sex, PWP without Porn, Rimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:27:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24145126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sway/pseuds/Sway
Summary: "I was gone for ten days, that flight from Mombay takes ages, I don’t do well with the time zones and I wanted to be awake enough to meet you. Meet you proper.” Eggsy gives Merlin a once-over that is anything but proper.Eggsy is on a sugar rush as he returns from a mission; Merlin helps him take the edge off
Relationships: Merlin/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin
Comments: 15
Kudos: 66





	with my legs up on the dashboard

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Eggsyobsessed](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eggsyobsessed/gifts), [zebraljb](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zebraljb/gifts).



> chatting with eggsyobsessed + Mark's shiny head + zebraljb as the best/worst enabler = office porn
> 
> the title is from "Sugar" by Brockhampton

“I think there's something in the Kingsman Code of Conduct that forbids to literally jump the Quartermaster’s bones,” Merlin says as he untangles himself from Eggsy, setting him down on the floor again.

“Doubt it. I learned about them during training, remember?” Eggsy places a kiss to Merlin’s jaw. “Don’t think any of them had any play.” Another kiss to Merlin’s pulse point. “Well, maybe except the Merlin from like 100 years ago. He was a looker.”

“Excuse me?” Merlin tries to push him off but Eggsy's very persistent kisses down his neck scatter those plans.

“Looked a lot like you…. Suppose I have type…,” Eggsy’s words are broken by more and more kisses, “brooding… bald…”

“I do not brood.” At last, Merlin manages to bring an arm’s length of distance between them.

“You did until you met me.”

“Because you’re infuriating.”

“Infuriatingly… smart?” Eggsy shucks out of his jacket. “Infuriatingly… charming?” He loosens his ties and pulls out from underneath his collar. “Infuriatingly… sexy?” He pops the top button of his shirt. 

“Infuriatingly hyper. Are you on something?” Merlin puts a finger underneath Eggsy’s chin, tilting his head back to take a look at his face. “You can’t be. Medical cleared you.”

“They did cos there’s nothing they can do against the four RedBull I had on the plane.” Eggsy practically bounces on his feet.

“Eggsy…” Merlin tries his best to not roll his eyes, pinch his nose, or sigh in frustration. He barely succeeds.

“What? I was gone for ten days, that flight from Mombay takes ages, I don’t do well with the time zones and I wanted to be awake enough to meet you. Meet you proper.” Eggsy gives Merlin a once-over that is anything but proper.

“You’re impossible.”

Eggsy grins from ear to ear. “That’s why you love me.”

“Unfortunately, I can’t dispute that.”

“Oh come on, babe.” Again, Eggsy crowds up to him, running his hands up Merlin’s chest. “Don’t pretend you don’t want me.”

“I don’t want you bouncing off the walls like the Duracell bunny.” Merlin pries Eggsy’s hand off him.

“No bouncing just… fucking like bunnies.” Unceremoniously Eggsy cups Merlin’s cock through his trousers. “You’re not disputing down here either.”

“You realize this is our workplace.”

“I realized that the… what? 27 times we did it here already?” Eggsy tightens his grip ever so slightly. 

“32 if you count the blowjobs but that is beside the point. Don’t you want to wait until we’re home and you can bed me properly?” Merlin’s voice hitches a little in his throat, his body betraying his argument by pushing into Eggsy’s inquiring hand.

“Nope,” is Eggsy’s simple answer as he uses his weight and momentum to push against Merlin, maneuvering him backwards until he lands on the leather sofa on the opposite wall of Merlin’s office. Upon his partner’s cushioned landing, Eggsy slinks astride his lap, wrapping his arms around Merlin’s neck. 

“I’ve missed you.” He presses a kiss to Merlin’s brow bone then works his way up over Merlin’s forehead and further. Then he pulls back as if surprised. “You’re so fucking shiny today. Did you buff?”

“What?” Merlin doesn’t sound as he’s been paying attention to anything but Eggsy on him. 

“Your head. It’s like… I can see my reflection.”

“You cannot.” Merlin slaps a hand on Eggsy’s arse, making him yelp. “And don’t be cheeky or I’ll put you over my knee.”

“I’d like to see you try.” Eggsy swallows any further protest by sealing Merlin’s lips with this, tongue deep into his mouth. It’s a sloppy kiss but it goes perfectly along with the demanding roll of Eggsy’s hips against Merlin’s crotch. 

He worms his hands underneath Merlin’s jumper and shirt, finding heated skin that breaks into goosebumps as Eggsy explores. He wants to push higher but the fabric won’t allow it so he turns his path southward, skimming along the waistband of Merlin’s trousers. Blindly, he works the belt, the button, the zipper, before his fingers find the damp head of Merlin’s cock.

“Excited, aren’t we?” Eggsy murmurs against his mouth as he stands to tug at Merlin’s clothes.

Merlin doesn’t reply. He doesn’t need to when he lifts his hips to let Eggsy pull his trousers and pants down over his knees. His cock lays hard against his stomach and he just manages to pull his jumper up so it won’t get smeared with precome.

Eggsy takes in the display in front of him. “Fuck, you’re gorgeous.” He palms his own cock through his slacks. “Can’t wait to have you.”

“What are you waiting for then?” As much as the entrapment of his clothes allows it, Merlin spreads his knees. 

Eggsy gives him the cheekiest of grins. He sinks to his knees in front of Merlin and makes quick work of his shoes - damn the Scot for double knots - then pulls his trouser off him, leaving his lower half bare except for his socks. 

Scooting between Merlin’s knees, Eggsy runs his hands up his calves and over his thighs. He follows the path of his palms with his mouth, leaving open mouthed kisses in their wake. Carefully avoiding Merlin’s cock, Eggsy kisses through his close-cropped hair before moving along the other thigh. 

“It has been ten days, Eggsy,” Merlin says, his voice husky, reaching for his cock but Eggsy swats his hand away.

Eggsy chuckles against his skin. “It took all that to get you on board with me?”

Merlin only glowers at him and it’s enough for Eggsy to have mercy with him. He kisses his way back to Merlin’s crotch but this time he takes the tip of his cock into his mouth, eliciting a moan. He doesn’t stop there but swallows Merlin’s prick halfway before releasing it again with a wet plop. The second time he goes deeper and deeper still until his nose is squished against Merlin’s pubic bone.

“That’s my boy,” Merlin breaths, fisting a hand into Eggsy’s hair.

With a debauched slurp Eggsy pulls back, leaving a trail of spit and more trailing from the tip of Merlin’s cock to his own chin. “Two shiny heads,” he grins, his voice raspy.

“You’re ridiculous.”

Eggsy doesn’t respond. Instead he dives down and begins to suck Merlin’s cock in earnest. He wraps the fingers of one hand around the base, squeezing down just so, while he bobs up and down over his length. With the other hand, he keeps palming his own prick through his trousers. 

“Fuck, that’s bloody brilliant.” Merlin tightens his grip in Eggsy’s hair, putting just that much pressure to the back of his back whenever Eggsy goes down on him. “Missed your mouth.”

“Just my mouth?” Eggsy gasps as he pulls off of him. He grins dopely but doesn’t wait for the reply before he goes back in, this time suckling one of Merlin’s balls into his mouth, tonguing against the sensitive skin. As he’s just about to work his way over his sac, he stops short and pulls back. “Hamish Mycroft, you naughty little shit.” 

Palming Merlin’s cock and balls up and out of the way, he reveals the curved base of a dark purple butt plug.

“You’ve had this in all day?” Eggsy sounds truly exasperated. “Here at work?”

“Worked my way up to this one since you left,” Merlin says nonchalantly. “You are desperately horny whenever you come back from a mission.”

“Fuck.” Eggsy sits back on his heels, taking a moment to drink in the sight in front of him. “Let’s have a proper look.” With little finesse Eggsy pulls Merlin forward and pushes his knees further apart, exposing him. Carefully he runs his fingers around the slim base that nestled comfortably between Merlin’s arse cheeks. “You just kept strutting around like this in here, nobody the wiser… that is bloody glorious, babe.”

“Wanted to be ready for you.”

Eggsy grins at him, the rollercoaster of his mind evident on his face. “You’ll have to tell me all about what you did while I was gone… but first…,” He wraps his fingers around the base, “let me see this thing.”

Merlin shifts a little in his position and with Eggsy’s gentle tugs, they work out the toy, the large bulbous head stretching Merlin until it finally comes free.

“Look at you… so open for me.” Eggsy runs a finger around Merlin’s loosened hole, the reddened skin slick with lube. Then he leans in and traces the same line with the tip of his tongue, drawing a groan and a shiver from Merlin. “Little sensitive, aren’t we?”

“Fuck, yes,” Merlin almost snaps at him. He reaches down and cups himself to give Eggsy better access. “Keep going.”

“Greedy.” Again, Eggsy gives him his cheekiest grin, then dives back in, licking and slurping at the puckered sphincter with gusto. Every now and then he dip his tongue in, tasting the ridiculously flavoured lube they only use for toys, slowly opening Merlin up more and more. 

Merlin grinds down against him, demanding more. He even wraps one leg around Eggsy’s shoulder to draw him in further, positively smothering him against his arse. 

“Wanna fuck you, babe,” Eggsy murmurs when comes up for air.

“Condoms are in the drawer.” Merlin waves an aimless hand at his desk. They usually do it bare but never when Eggsy’s just returned and they don’t have all the blood work back.

Released from Merlin’s grip, Eggsy staggers to his feet and almost trips on his way to retrieve the rubbers. With a string of three between his teeth, he kicks off his shoes and tries to worm his way out of his trousers, almost falling over again. His cock fights the restraint of his pants, giving a ridiculous little bounce when Eggsy strips out of them. With routine motions he unpacks and rolls the condom over his cock, giving it a few quick strokes for good measure. 

Then he towers over Merlin as much as he can as if to debate his next move. The moment passes quickly as he taps against Merlin’s knee. “Come on… up with your legs.”

Merlin shoots him a glare but scoots down on the couch and brings his knees up, his height alone making it a cramped position, and nobody ever dares to comment on his age. 

“Fuck, I could just come from looking at you,” Eggsy drawls as he runs his hands over Merlin’s thighs.

“I’d rather you came from finally fucking me.”

“Always the sweet talker.” 

Eggsy bends at the knees and aligns the tip of his cock with Merlin’s hole, teasing him just so, pushing but not pushing in. When he finally does, he bottoms out in one go, making both of them groan as Eggsy’s weight on him accentuates the thrust. He hooks Merlin’s legs over his arms, bending him almost in half.

Shifting his position ever so slightly, Eggsy adjusts his footing so he won’t slip on the carpet. “You ready, babe?”

Merlin only nods. His hands wrap around Eggsy’s forearm, fingers digging into the tight muscles, and he barely braces himself before the first thrust.

Eggsy pulls out almost entirely before pushing back in, the angle just right so that the tip of Eggsy’s cock hit Merlin’s prostate. He repeats that motion a few times before he’s settled on a relaxed but hard rhythm, pushing and pulling, rocking into Merlin and driving him deeper into the cushions.

“Fuck, yes,” Merlin breaths, his eyes flickering shut. “That’s it.”

“You like that, babe? Feeling me like this? Feeling me deep?”

“Feels good… always so bloody good.” 

Eggsy quickens his pace by a fraction, drawing a wobbly moan from Merlin. “Making a mess, aren’t you? Been holding back for me?” He looks down at the sticky pool of precome that soils Merlin’s jumper after all. 

“You know I do….always do,” Merlin groans, drawing his knees back to take Eggsy deeper.. “Go harder… don’t be delicate with me. Fuck me.”

“Touch me, babe.”

Finally letting go of Eggsy’s arms - Eggsy can only hope that he won’t be left with claw marks - Merlin reaches up and pinches Eggsy’s nipples between his fingers. As an immediate response, Eggsy’s hips snap forward in a particularly hard thrust.

“There’s the little slag I sent off last week.” Merlin shoots him a devious grin, knowing how responsive Eggsy is to having his nipples tugged and twisted.

“If you can still talk like that,” another hard push, “I’m... not... doing... it... right.” Eggsy emphasises each word with a push forward.

“So right, my boy. Take me. Don’t hold back. Give me more.”

Eggsy doesn’t need to be asked twice. He leans over Merlin, putting his weight behind each thrust, his hips pistoning forward in rapid succession. Flesh hits flesh as their bodies meet, their joined groans filling the room along with the sound of skin on leather and squeaking springs.

“Getting close, babe… feels too good,” Eggsy manages through grit teeth, ploughing into Merlin harder and harder. “Can’t… hold on… fuck…”

“Come, my boy. Come for me.” Merlin gives Eggsy’s nipples a merciless twist. “Fill me.”

The words trigger something inside Eggsy and his rhythm falters as he comes. He slams into Merlin, burying his cock deep inside him. “Fuck… fuck, that’s…. Oh shit….,” he stammers, starting to empty himself.

“So beautiful,” Merlin drawls, his voice dark and heavy. “Can’t wait to feel you raw again.” He reaches down for his own cock and begins to stroke himself, his hand blurring over his shaft.

“That’s it, babe. Wanna see you come,” Eggsy gasps, still dwindling in his own height.

Merlin doesn’t take long to finish. In thick ropes he spills over his fingers and onto his stomach, ruining his jumper once and for all. A colorful curse accompanies each new splash of white between their bodies as Eggsy fucks it out of him.

“Christ, that’s… fuck…,” Eggsy slumps forward when he finally comes down, pushing even deeper as he does. “So fucking good.”

“That it was.” With his clean hand, Merlin cups the back of Eggsy’s head, drawing him down for a kiss that’s mostly tongue. “Welcome home, my boy.”

Eggsy grins against his mouth. “You’re arse is my home, then?” That earns him a slap on his own behind. 

“Clean us up, will you?

Slowly, Eggsy lowers Merlin’s legs, the change of angle making another drop of come roll down Merlin’s cock. Then he carefully disentangles himself and pulls out, slipping the condom off his still hard shaft. On wobbling legs he staggers back to Merlin’s desk and pulls out a box of paper tissues. He wipes himself down first and disposes off the soiled papers along with the condom.

“We should start leaving tips for the cleaning staff,” Eggsy says as he kneels between Merlin’s legs. 

“What do you think I’m doing since the fourth time you’ve had me in here.” Merlin hisses when Eggsy runs another tissue around his used hole. “You’re very messy.”

Eggsy snorts. “Says he who needs to keep a back-up jumper now.” He tries to clean Merlin’s come from his jumper but gives up eventually. Good thing their dry-cleaner is very discrete and doesn’t comment on the come stains. 

“I’m merely trying to keep up with you.” Merlin draws up one knee, showing himself off. “Plug me again, please.”

“Fuck,” Eggsy exclaims.

“That’s the idea.”

Eggsy makes quick business of putting the plug back where he’s found it, the toy sliding easily into place. 

Merlin sits back up, wincing as his body adjusts to the insertion at this angle. 

Again, Eggsy slides into Merlin’s lap again, not caring about the state of their clothes. He draws him into a kiss that’s surprisingly sweet and slow, a sharp contrast to what they’ve just done.

“You know what?” he murmurs against Merlin’s mouth, sounding sated and almost sleepy. “Fucking the Code of Conduct out of you really took the edge off.”


End file.
